This is a politically correct silk fic: cold blooded murder, C&R friendly banter, C&R solving sexual tension, ... ooops, forgot aplot. Never mind, who needs one? ;-)

Of keys and cats by Kilohana

Saturday morning, bright and early, can be equivalent to Friday night, damn late.

"You look a little off key today, Chris," Rita smiled when they left the morgue after a slightly disturbing opening. "Hot date last night?"

"You wish! I just couldn't sleep all right? My brain wouldn't leave me alone! And then this body shows up and I gotta get up and be awake. Why can't these people die at reasonable hours? And after my fourth cup of coffee, when I'm almost back to normal, the "cold-blooded murder" turns out to be suicide! " Chris rubbed his temples.

Rita reached over and stroked his forehead "Well, you're not running a fever, Sam."

"I'm not sick," he bit her off. "I just couldn't sleep! Quit fussing!"

Rita straightened up and checked her watch. "Sure, if that's what you want, I was only trying to help. Speaking of help, I better go, my neighbor's cat died last week, and I promised I'd take the old missus to the rescue center and help her find a new furry friend. Sweet, huh? "

Chris didn't answer, he was just staring with glassy eyes."Go home and sleep, Sam," Rita said and walked towards the door. "It wont ruin your macho image!"

Fourteen hours and fifteen minutes later she opened the door to what she hoped was a very delayed pizza delivery. That hope faded quickly."Chris, what are you doing here? "

Hey, Rita, good to see you too!"

"Come on in. What's up?"

"Nothing," he said with a guilty look on his face. "I just felt like coming over. Is that a crime?"

"Of course not. Just mind your step, there's a cat in here somewhere. He's a little shy, doesn't trust anyone."

"A cat, Rita?"

"Four legged predator often kept as house pet..."

"Rita," he apruptly broke her off. "I'm really not in the mood for witty repartee!"

Rita finally had enough. "You know what Chris, neither am I! You wanna be moody, fine, but don't take it out on me! I've had enough misery for one night, all right? I'm not up to arguing right now!"

Chris sat down on her couch and rested his head in his hands. "I don't wanna argue with you, Rita."

"Good. Then we agree on something. " So, he said and smiled at her. "Why a cat?"

"Entertainment for the fish.. Or the other way around, maybe."

"Rita..."

"You want coffee, Sam? You do look like hell."

Chris got up and walked to stand in front of her. He took a gentle, but firm hold of her shoulders and looked her into the eyes." Rita, listen to me. Quit fussing. Please."

"Then will you tell me what's bothering you? "

"You wont like it, Rita. You probably wont even understand."

"Try me."

"I will. Not right now, but soon. " Rita gave him a glance through heavy lashes."Such as after a glass of wine, Chris continued with a faint hope inhis voice. And a story about how sgt. Lance got herself a cat?"

Rita smiled, and gave him a quick hug. "Sit down, my friend, I'll get the wine. "

Chris sat down on the floor in front of the sofa. Across the room, behind a potted palm tree, he could see black fur and a swinging tail. He kept quiet, and the cat's head appeared. "Kitty-kitty-kitty," Chris tempted with a soothing voice. The cat came a few steps towards him.

"Red or white, Chris," Rita called from the kitchen. The cat stopped dead for a moment, and suddenly began running around in oblong circles.

"Rita, look!"

"Oh no, he's doing it again," Rita sighed when she saw the cat. Quickly she offered Chris his glass. She was torn between trying to soothe the cat, or just leave him alone.

"What's his story," Chris said and reached for her. She sat down next to him.

"Oh, just the usual, some people wanted a sweet pet for their children, and kittens are adorable, right? Kittens also misbehave, so these people placed the cat in the bathtub with a lid on whenever the kids didn't want to play with it. Soon the little brats found out how fun it was to scare the cat, splash water over it, throw things at it, anything to make it run. The cat's world was less than one square meter, Chris! He's freakin' two years old and was raised in a bathtub!"

Chris found a pillow behind his back, stroked it, and placed it on his "So the always professional sgt. Lance got soft, "he said with a teasing grin that Rita missed.

"You should have seen him at the rescue home, Chris, and you would have done the same. They had so many cats there, you wouldn't believe it. Playful kittens, skinny old moggies, big, fat toms. And this beautiful little black. Don't know what to call him though. He should have a name. The people who had him called him Flipper, I can't relate to that.

"Black Beauty.?"

"Sounds like a horse. I like Tabby better."

"But he's no tabby,"Chris tried to reason with her.

"So? I doubt he knows the difference, Christopher. Look at him, he has no instincts left. Male, female, black or striped, he couldn't care less."

Chris squirmed. Was it hot in here or what?

"Nice t-shirt," Rita said when he dropped his long sleeves. "You all right?"

"Yeah, fine. Lack of sleep, and with the wine, I just got a little hot. I haven't eaten in a while."

"Well, I ordered pizza a few hours ago, you're welcome to share if it ever turns up!"

"Thanks, Sunshine, I knew I could count on you. "

At the same time, the doorbell chimed. The cat took cover behind his plant again.

"That better be pizza", Rita growled. " Will you open the door while I get my purse?"

"Ah, eh, Rita I really need the bathroom, will you excuse me?"With that he got up in a hurry and left Rita wondering what the hell he was up to.

"I am terribly sorry for the delay, ma'am," the delivery boy said when she opened the door. "Our car broke down. I hope this wont stop you from calling us again. Pizza is on us tonight. Have a nice evening, Goodbye!"

Rita got back inside shaking her head. Opening the box, she soon learned that the pizza was both cold and covered with anchovies."Terrific," she murmured. "Discusting! No wonder I got it for free. Hey Sam, dinner's on the table! "

Chris came back in, looking like he'd held his head under the shower. "You sure you're all right, Sam?"

"Yeah, fine, pretty good, he said running his fingers through his hair, making a mess out of it. "Anchovies, Rita?"

"It was free. And I figured Tabby would love'em."

"Well, whatever."

"Now," Rita said a little later, when the foul-tasting pizza was history and their stomachs full. "Whenever you are ready, Sam, what is bothering you? No pressure, you don't have to tell me, but I will keep pushing until you do."

"Yes," Chris murmured, squirming in his seat, ashamed of himself, but not able to keep his secret anymore. "I'll tell you, Rita, you should ,I know. I would've told you right away, but I just couldn't, didn't know how you'd react, or actually I assumed you would kill me right away for even mentioning it."

"Chris..."

"I had a wet dream, all right? Big time. I haven't had a date in months and I had a wet dream!"

"I hate to break it to you," Rita said slowly. "But that is normal."

"Oh yeah? You didn't ask me what the dream was all about, or how real it was at the time!"

"Chris... "

"It was you," Chris shouted, finally dropping the bomb. "You in a swim suit, you without anything, you in lacy underwear, you all over me! I'm sorry for destroying your impression of me as the perfect platonic friend, Rita. You mean more to me than anyone and anything else, I hate myself, but I just can't get that damn vision out of my head! It was too real! I get a flamin' boner whenever you look at me, or if I think about you, or hug you for too long, it is hell, Rita! "

Rita gaped. Chris got up and walked towards the door. "Please don't hate me, Rita, it'll cool down I'm sure it will. See ya at work tomorrow. Sleep tight."

Rita watched him disappear. Damn him. Walking out on her just now. She heard a car start up somewhere. Probably his. Sneaking a hand carefully down inside her clothes, she sighed deeply. So it wasn't just her after all. He obviously felt the same way. Sighing again, she pulled her hand back. Masturbating didn't solve anything, not tonight. Time to find some answers. She raised, found her car keys, and left.

Meanwhile, Chris landed on his couch. Frustrated, he felt the sensations created while his jeans tightened across his groin. The scent of Rita's perfume didn't smell as good on him as it did on her. He'd pinched some of it, hoping in a way to bring her home with him. His body was fooled, but not his mind. He brought his hand down, trying to ease the pressure that was building inside. There was a knock on his door. He froze.

"Chris, if you're in there, please open," he heard through the wall. Rita's voice. If she was here after what he'd just told her...

"Rita", he said when she entered. "I'm so sorry, I never should have told you, thank you so much for coming, I shouldn't have rushed off, I just... Does this mean you forgive me? That I'm still your friend?"

"I have only one thing to say to you!" Without further delay, she kicked the door shut and hugged him. "I love you, you idiot," she whispered in his ear.

"But you're not in love with me," he finished the sentence for her.

"Do me a favor Sam," Rita sighed, enjoying the close contact.

"I think I can do that, he whispered, trying desperately to think of smelly socks and anchovies while her scent invaded his nostrils.

"Always be my friend."

"Always. " She kissed the sensitive skin below his ear. He gasped, and tightened his grip on her.

"Rita," he murmured. "Do you know what you're doing."

"Hope so... Haven't done this in a while, though. "

"Rita, Sam," he continued and buried his hands in her hair. "Are you sure about this? You don't have to..."

"Chris? Shhh..." She silenced him with her lips, making him squirm with delight. He could taste himself on her lips, in her ears, down her throat, between her sweet breasts, further down, all the way into her navel, a taste more familiar than anything he had ever tasted before. Stronger than roach coach chili, richer than red wine, sweeter than chocolate icecream.

He dragged her towards the couch, stroking her everywhere in the process, groaning at the feel of her skin towards his, the soft sounds she made, the way she smelled, tasted, looked...

"Stop, "she said. He was speechless, barely able to look at her. Without a word she pointed her finger at him, curling it to make him follow. Through the kitchen, up the stairs, ah, bedroom! No, further, bathroom? "Shower together, Rita, you're amazing!"" No? What then?"

She opened the small, round door in his washing machine, filled it with clothes from the laundry basked, added soap. Chris stared with his mouth open as she stripped, slowly revealing skin and sensible, white cotton underwear, not to mention that intoxicating, addictive Rita smell that left his mouth open and head empty.

"Hey Sam," she murmured in a tone that made his knees wobbly.

"What," he croaked.

"You're wearing far too many clothes..." He took his clothes off in record speed, leaving only his tiger striped silk boxers.

"Shower or spin drier, she asked with her sexiest purr. His voice cracked again, he just looked at his washing machine with stars in his eyes. She followed his eyes, and licked her lips wickedly. He nearly lost it right there. She backed up until the washing machine was right behind her, then she jumped and planted her bottom on it, spread her thighs and invited him inside. "Oh Rita what an incredible idea!"

The machine shaked and vibrated, immidiately bringing him close to the edge, along with his desperate wish for her to come with him. He brought his fingers down to were they were joined, barely touched her before she cried out, clinging to him, gasping his name, and he was lost, stars exploding behind his eyes, his knees refusing to cooperate, and they ended up in a tangled heap on top of the spinning washing machine, clinging to each other, whispering loving little words in each other's ears, smelling and tasting each other until the machine stopped.

"Laundry basket," Rita commanded with a naughty grin.

The End

I needed this break from a longer and more serious story I'm working on. Originally posted as a short, innocent little "save-the-animals C&R-no-fluff-but-we-want-to"-piece on the Coolsilkchat-list... It's still pretty short. And the cat still runs in circles. But it is far from innocent anymore ;-) Feedback? Yes please: kilohana@hotmail.com Great thanks to Lisa for posting this :-) Disclaimer: The cat is mine. And the washing machine. That's about it. Chris & Rita belong to Mr Cannel and Mr Segall and network USA, but I'm sure we all know that by now.